Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
