if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
