they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
