More tranny stories later!
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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