Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
