She said her name was "party"
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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