i need an iv and a liver transplant
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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