I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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