I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
