omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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