Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
