ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
