Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
