hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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