The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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