bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
