"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
