sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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