I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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