Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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