I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
