Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
