He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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