D3 body, D1 cock
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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