I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
