yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
