they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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