Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
