ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
