I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
