forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
