Soap is not a condiment
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
