Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
