All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
