i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
