i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
And then he peed in my hair
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