He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
