whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
