you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
