How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
