i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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