whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I supernannyed him into submission
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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