I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
