So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
