I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
