Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
