I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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