I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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