Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
