There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
