I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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