I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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