don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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